you painted clown

painted clown,
you go down.
What if
all of a sudden
a painted clown was told he could no longer be in the circus?

two sided

if someone wanted to start racing their bike
and they asked my opinion
it's not traumatic brain injury that I would warn them about,
at least, not any sort of acute brain injury.
it would probably talk more about the the slow re-constitution of things they once held valuable,
because bike racing could change them
some for better
some for worse.
there are some that should change
like improving your health
exploring and knowing your surroundings,
and traveling to and exploring others,
exercise,
eating healthy,
sun in your face,
wind in your hair,
relationships,
community.
Then there are some that shouldn't change,
but one day you wake up and realize they have
not necessarily for the better,
and not because of any conscious choice,
but from calories of energy taken away from the rest of life,
instead
pushed into to the pedals.

"Covering 100 miles on foot was more than a lesson in survival, it was an education on the grace of living. Running is a solo sport, but it was no longer about me anymore; I became almost irrelevant. My struggles were not about a single runner trying to finish this unfathomable challenge but about the greater ability of a human being to persevere against unsurmountable odds. The many supporters who'd provided encouragement and strength along the way didn't really care about me per se--hell, they didn't even know who I was. What they cared about was that a person had taken the time to train, and sacrafice, and dedicate himself wholeheartedly to the pursuit of a dream. It was a powerful message; I was just the host. And proud to be. Upholding my end of the commitment meant crossing the finish line, and I was now going to make damn sure that happened. For all of us."

--Dean Karnazes Ultra-Marathon Man: Confessions Of An All-Night Runner

departed my mountain bike and mountain bike friends at Downieville classic and traveled south and east
toware the east side of Yosemite.
I made an attempt to summit Mt Conness via its north ridge route.
I brought a half length 9mm rope and a modest alpine rack and harness incase there were any exposed moves that called for some protection. ..
made it to the knotch before the last 200m to the summit,
but it was there that thing became more climby and than hikey,
and being solo,
and not being able to trust my decission making, i err'd on the side of caution.
retraced my footsteps the way i came.

this one is for Tyler

This post is to Tyler, who has said to me more than once that he misses
how i
hit the
return
key all the time and
unexpected
times
to make words
flow
disconnected
together as if in a poem.
Tyler Brandt,
thank you for picking me up at the air port the other day.
you were a life saver.
muchas gracias.
more blogs to come,
the sluffbugger has returned.

FREE HEEL